ESCAPE BLOG

After warning women about circumcision facts, Scrivs asked “what should we look out for with the women?” Paul let the cat out of the bag with his “for non-European males hairy armpits can be a shocker. Think French or Greek.”

I feel that it is my obligation to try to write in detail what Paul started. Plus, yeah, it is good blog fodder.

I grew up switching loyalties when it comes to underarm care — shaving, waxing, plucking, etc. Everytime a new product came out, I tried it. As long as it promised to take underarm hair away. And as far as I know, almost everyone did the same. Someone even took the trouble of writing about the practice for women to remove these unwanted underarm hair.

In addition, female underarm hair has always been portrayed by media as scandalous. Heck, it even made the papers (not to mention, wikipedia) when Julia Roberts was caught unshaved.

When I went to Europe, I had to remind myself to close my mouth and not stare whenever I saw women raise their arms and see hair. Lots of hair. Grown freely. Wearing sleeveless shirts.

I cannot seem to find the real background WHY our society “demands” shaved armpits for women. And WHY most European (and Chinese, I found via google) women do not see the need to rid their underarm of hair.

Whatever the reasons are, Scrivs, be warned, there lies the difference… unshaved armpits in Women.

Our culture dictates that we live in harmony. We often talk to some as friends even if, deep down, we hate them. Most of us also often say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’ to avoid discord. Heck, someone has actually written a book on saying yes when they mean no.

Well, forget all that when you head on to Bulgaria otherwise, you may find yourself in deep shit.

In Bulgaria, people shake their heads to say “yes” and nod their heads to say “no”. Now that would be confusing. Chances are, you will piss someone off for mistakenly telling him/her what you really think!

Update: Note that the same rule applies in India. Thanks for the info, Glo!

Have you ever observed other people when they talk? Not counting romantic encounters between people, of course. I am talking about strangers or near-strangers talking to each other; especially when one or both are foreign.

One would seem to be getting closer and closer whereas the other seem to be shrinking more and more in his/her seat, trying to get further and further away. It looks a lot like a dance. A very awkward one.

That is a classic example of how variable each person’s personal space is.

Personal space is that area around you. Imagine a little (or big) square around your body where no one is suppose to enter because if someone does, it would be uncomfortable. Or, you’d think he/she is up to no good. It’s an imagined boundary that you have set. A distance that is defined depending on your culture and/or personal predilection.

In comparison, Americans have a bigger personal space compared to, say, the Italians or the Czechs.

When you find yourself feeling trapped and claustrophobic, think again. He/she is not a pervert nor is she/he ready to pucker up for a kiss. It probably is just an issue about your differences in personal space.

[photo credits: artshole]

Picture this: You are alone in a foreign land; eager to befriend the locals but you aren’t exactly Mr. or Ms. Personality. And then you finally find someone interested in foreigner-you but, in your excitement, you find yourself with your foot in your mouth after cracking that joke… the culturally-loaded kind.

Imagine telling this joke in the presence of Germans:
Q: What do you call a blind German?
A: A Not See (Nazi)

Or, saying this with a Japanese/Australian within hearing distance:
An Australian man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Japanese man said to him, “I am sick of seeing your big round eyes.”
The Australian replied, “Put on a blind fold.”
The Japanese man asked, “Where do I get one?
The Australian then said, “Here, take my shoe lace.”

Cracking a joke could probably break the ice, should you find yourself “actively” participating in conversations filled with long pauses. Just keep in mind that not everyone can see the humour in all situations. More so, if you take cultural differences in the equation. A lot of times, what makes something laughable or amusing could depend on the culture we belong to. So, be careful.

You wouldn’t want the locals (in their drunken, pissed off state) waiting for you outside the bar, would you?

/no idea who made those jokes up

“what would you do (to prepare yourself) prior to your first trip to Japan?,” I asked around. Standard answers were:

• learn how to say hello (konnichiwa) and thank you (duomo arigato)
• brush up on sign language (for those who do not speak japanese)
• practice the use of chopsticks
• withdraw tons of cash (heard it’s expensive there! was often heard)

None of them knew about toilet culture shock most people from the Western ’sitting-on-the-toilet’ world go through when they reach Japan. Most would-be visitors only expect high-tech gizmos such as this.

Truth be told, a lot of visitors, during the course of their stay in Japan, meet squat toilets and are at a loss as to how to use it. I mean, it should be easy to figure it out but it is very important to use it properly otherwise…

So here I am with my handy tip to prevent toilet culture shock on your next trip to Japan… with a handy guide on how to use a Japanese style toilet.

PS: Do include “learning how to balance while squatting” on your to-do list, as well. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to smell like crap.   And I mean that literally.

So you went on a holiday and got lucky. A one-night stand that went further with constant exchange of emails (technology is great, isn’t it?) and serious plans of seeing one another again.

If that happened to you, I’d say go for it.

However, keep in mind that the evening you spent on vacation together sans any cultural faux pas to speak of could be just a fluke. When you have to spend more time together, you may have to keep a lookout for cultural differences which may slowly reveal itself.

How about starting off your visit well? Show your generosity by bringing a little something from home. This little gesture could, believe it or not, prove to be problematic if you do not know anything about his/her culture.

Who would have thought that something so innocent and filled with good intentions could go wrong.

Here are a few guidelines which might help you on your upcoming trip:

What NOT to give…

Never give a clock as a gift in China. It symbolizes death or the end of a relationship due to it’s chinese translation that sounds like the word for “death”.

Never give leather bags as a gift in India. It would be sacrilegous because Hindus revere cows. One must also avoid giving handkerchiefs since it symbolizes death and sorry.

Never give gifts in sets of four as this is translated as “shi” in Japanese. This word is associated with death.

In Middle Eastern countries, make sure that you can reciprocate with gifts of similar quality and value. Cheapos beware! Best bet would be to give silver, previous stones, cashmere, crystal or porcelain.

In Muslim cultures, you must not give alcohol and products made of pigskin as they are offensive.

In Latin America, you must make sure that you do have something. Gift giving shows thoughtfulness and generosity.

When to give…

We are used to giving gifts upon our arrival. For some cultures in the east, gifts should be given before your departure.

How to give…

In China, they may refuse your gift and you have to insist to them that they must take it. Twice. Thrice. They do it to show modesty, afraid that they may seem greedy if they readily accept it. You must also offer the gift with two hands, just like in Japan.

In Muslim cultures, you must use your right hand in giving something. The left hand is supposedly used for body hygiene thus, it is unclean and impolite to use when passing something to someone.

Giving omiyages in Japan is deeply rooted in their culture. You should make sure that you have something to give.

Lucky are you if you found someone from a culture no different from yours.

 “Australia, Canada, United States, European countries - Gift giving in these countries is rarely expected. While seen as a nice gesture, it is more important to avoid gifts that will be perceived as bribes. Small gifts such as pens, business diaries, and mementos with company logos are usually sufficient. It is important to avoid highly personal gifts such as clothing. When visiting the home of a colleague from one of these countries, it is normally appropriate to present a gift to the hostess.”

In any case, best to try and get more information from him/her (during your email exchanges). That way, you wouldn’t be sending out the wrong signals.

Source: Netique

The first time I went to a sauna in Germany, I turned beet red.

See, I came from a culture where it is normal to share the sauna with people who have towel draped over themselves or are wearing bathing suits. Instead, in Germany, I entered and saw people with towels. But instead of covering their “private parts” with towels, they used the lil cloth to spare their butts from the heat. In all their naked glory, they sat there with their legs relaxed and casually spread. Some even nodded or uttered “Guten Tag”. Whereas my beet red self tried not to look where I shouldn’t look and tried to cover myself even more.

The first time I went to the beach in Bornholm, Denmark, I turned beet red.

See, I came from a culture where we do wear bathing suits; where wearing a skimpy bikini was risquè. Instead, in Denmark, I was bothered by the sight of the long stretch of beach (a normal beach and not the FKK kind, mind you) full of naked people.

Parents with their teenaged kids. Couples doing tai-chi. Some playing volleyball or badminton. Would have looked normal if they at least wore a bathing suit. Instead, they all wore their birthday suits. Had my then-boyfriend did not assure me that it was all normal, I would have screamed and called the police.

Almost a decade later and I still hesitate (and turn red) whenever I see a naked body in public.

–> Nudity is not a big deal in these countries. But it sure would shock the hell out of someone who comes from a country where the sight of Janet Jackson’s boobs during an award show caused an uproar.

So, on your next European trip, prepare yourself. But do remember that you are NOT supposed to stare, even if nudity is no biggie in these shores.

When Judith Martin created the column Miss Manners in 1978 to answer questions on etiquette, she gave pointers on how to behave and be polite. At present, we have the likes of the purple dinosaur named Barney telling kids that “please” and “thank you” are magic words.

These tenets guide most of us when we deal with people. It has been so ingrained in us that when we step into another culture where the standards are different, most of us are quick to cry foul. Stories about that rude [insert nationality here] have been know to circle the whole world.

But, are they really rude?! Or are they just misunderstood?

Here are a few examples of what our culture has misconstrued as rude:

Those who have befriended a Korean in their life view them as people from a polite society. However, most strangers who happen to visit Korea find them rude. Koreans elbow their way through crowds. They cut in line without even uttering a quick excuse me or sorry. Some have been known to even belch or fart in public, without a care in the world who heard or smelled.

As one of my officemates explained to me, for Koreans, there are 2 different kinds of people in the world: people they know and people they don’t know. Someone they have formed a relationship with are treated politely. But strangers, on the other hand, just don’t count. So, they do not feel obliged to extend common courtesy, like we do even to perfect strangers.

And then, you have the “rude French”. A myth, I tell you. IMHO, not smiling at anyone at random doesn’t qualify them as rude. They do not smile just for the sake of it. When they do smile, it’s because they truly mean it and have, in their minds, really something to smile about. That’s just how they are.

Insisting to talk in French while in France does not make them rude either. Don’t you speak in English even to Foreigners when you are back in the USA?

“The French are very proud of their language, culture, and country. If you are respectful of the French and their heritage, they will respond in kind.”

What is wrong with these rude people? Nothing!!!

Avoid going to another country expecting people to behave the way people do back home. That is soooo not going to happen. And don’t even dare correct them, either. Show respect for other cultures and revel in the differences. And in return, they will respect you, too.

[source: Seoul Union Church]

Car afficionados driving in Germany are like little kids let loose in a toy store. They go crazy at the sight (even at the mere thought) of stretches of Autobahn with no speed limits.

Before you go to Germany and go loco with your rented car, here are a few facts for you:

• The land of beer has strict drink driving laws. The limit is only 0.25 mg of alcohol per litre of blood.
• don’t flick the bird! Inappropriate hand gestures are forbidden!
• Seat belts front and rear are obligatory everywhere.
• There are autobahns WITH speed limits. Do follow them otherwise, you can get fined heavily. And you have to pay on the spot, too!
• Passing on the right is not allowed!
• It is illegal to run out of gas on the Autobahn so fill ‘er up!
• It is also customary to…
• switch on your hazard blinkers when approaching a traffic jam to warn those behind you.
• Some may flash their high beams to request that you let them pass.

So… if you still fancy yourself to be the next Schumacher, do keep all those in mind for your next trip to Germany.

There are tons of blogs that focuses on helping people prepare for their trip abroad. I should know, I write about 4 other travel blogs for different blog networks.

Anyway, most of these blogs are about the practical stuff: where to get the best vacation package, what to do, where to go, what to bring and how to get there, among others. This blog, on the other hand, is all about HOW YOU CAN PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY.

It’s all about making sure that you don’t piss off the locals by not reacting kindly to how it is (in comparison to what you are used to). Or, if you can’t really stomach how the “others” do things, at least EscapeBlog can help you prepare yourself how to react in order to reduce your culture shock and to prevent any of the locals from labeling other [insert your nationality here] visitors as rude.

This blog aims to help you be aware of different customs and traditions. Sure, it may sometimes sound a lot like I am trying to weird you out but the truth is, I just want to prepare you how to be open-minded.

So… are you ready?

I have been promising (for the past year) to revive this blog but offline life (new baby, job, moving to another country again!) has been keeping me very busy. BUT, the assistant has been hired, the baby is now a year old and our expatriation is almost done. So, I am really back.

Old entries will be brought back in (excuse the dates, though. It will be a lot easier for me to do it without having to edit the dates). And I will be blogging daily.